The Real Me
I’ve never been comfortable speaking in public. It made me worried whenever my teachers appointed me to talk to strangers. It even made me nervous whenever my parents persuaded me to converse with any of my relatives that I’ve never met before. I liked being shy and quiet because I was an introverted person.
I never wanted to leave my comfort zone. I always tried to avoid publicity, I can always be found somewhere else on the side, at the corner of the classroom, and at the back of the desks. I did not want to attract too much attention to strangers. Thus, I preferred solitude.
But, that is not who I am now. I hated being who I was, and I was tired of hiding myself from this interactive world. I always dreamt of escaping the silence, and last year, I finally did it. It all started in a debate class.
Defeated by the other team during my debate class over the topic I fascinated was a nightmare; I was not satisfied. I felt despondent after the debate because I did not participate as much as I wanted. I had a multitude of ideas in my brain, but bashfulness prevented me from speaking. There were moments where I was not able to articulate my ideas because I was scared that they were all wrong.
What happened? I was not completely an introvert. That momentous loss changed everything. I started to occasionally talk to my debate teacher for tips and I began to participate more in later debates. Boldness was now part of my new character, and it was at that moment when I betrayed my old self to stand up and speak with confidence during the next debate. I identified something different and I found it exhilarating to speak in front of people. It was not the end. There were moments in that specific debate where I forced myself to ask the opposing team various relevant questions, which I did, and even defended my team from them with heroism.
If I had succeeded rather than failed, I would have changed and learned nothing. I spoke up because I wanted to change. There is no shame in trying to change, but there is shame in never trying.
I chose and made many more incredible changes in my life. By my innate challenges [the old shy me] I already understood the disadvantages of not speaking in public. It trapped my voice and prevented me from speaking to the world. I was not able to make friends. Then, right after I had overcome this immense setback, I began to discover something about myself: I had a talent. A talent that defined the real me. A talent that motivated me to express my own words. A talent that assisted me in making new friends. I was able to manipulate this talent in any conversation.
At the end of the debate class, I became the person that I wanted to be. I started to discover my own voice. The voice that is important for who I am, the voice that I always wished and asked for. I had won my personal challenge, however, without realizing this obstacle, I would still be the old me that never wanted my voice to be heard by the world. Most importantly, the whole transformation taught me to see the importance of reaching my potential. I hope, through this careful open-mindedness to change, that I can continue to make many more adaptations throughout my life.